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MORRIE
WILSON
The Secret History
Sun-drenched Beaches
When most people think of Hawaii, they get
visions of sun-drenched beaches, sparkling blue
water, and beautiful girls small to negligible
swimsuits. Well, so did Morrie Wilson. And consequently,
at the age of 18, he enrolled at the University
of Hawaii to pursue a career of professional
surfing. When his dream was tragically cut short
a few days later (he discovered just how hard
it was to actually stay on the board), he quickly
recovered and started looking for a new way
to exploit his talents.
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Intriguing Hotels
Although it was difficult to decide on a different career,
his experiences as a night-shift taxi driver quickly
convinced him of one thing: people in general were very,
very strange. After being offered a job as a getaway
driver by two passengers who were impressed with his
knowledge of local shortcuts, and turning down various
deals where he could obtain commissions on the delivery
of Navy sailors to certain rather intriguing hotels,
he quickly decided that he wanted a job where he could
deal with sane, rational, 'normal' people. Obviously,
computer programming fit the bill (well, either that
or accounting) which although not quite as glamorous
as professional surfing, was almost as exciting.
Extracurricular Activities
After four arduous years at the University of Hawaii,
which is well known for its excellent and rigorous program
of extracurricular activities, Morrie grew tired of
the nice weather, sun-drenched beaches and the continious
parade of the small to negligible swimsuits. It was
no surprise then, that when a possibly inebreiated Boeing
vice-president offered him a job in Seattle, Washington,
he took it. Morrie notes that working at America's largest
aircraft research and manufacturing company taught him
one thing, "It's not that hard typing up hundreds of
pages of documentation once you realize you are just
making up fairy tales."
Large Bonus
During a contract dispute with the local union, the
Boeing Company stubbornly offered only a rather large
bonus to the employees rather than a pay raise. Morrie
took the cash and -- going deeply into debt with his
wife (see aforementioned small to negligible swimsuits)
-- purchased a top-of-the-line screamer, an 8 MHz AT
(with a COLOR monitor). Looking for some way to dig
himself out of debt with his wife and noting a near-total
lack of Windows shareware, Morrie decided to concentrate
on the Windows shareware market, and actually sold his
software to BOTH users of Windows 1.0.
Stunned Wife
In spite of his stunned wife, he developed and launched
the "Command Post" for Windows 2.0. Command Post was
the only widely available programmable menu system
for Windows 2.0. Estimates are that 20% of the users
of Windows 2.0 (there were at least eight of them
by now) used Command Post.
Last Paycheck
Flush with success, and with his last Boeing paycheck
in hand, Morrie set out to conquer the world and start
his own business, the first exclusively Windows shareware
company. The fledgling company soon branched out to
several other Window's applications. By 1991, Wilson
WindowWare had become incorporated and, much to the
satisfaction of Morrie and his tyrannical turn of
mind, hired several employees (see small to negligible
swimsuits, above) and moved to a larger facility.
Advice
With Wilson WindowWare now a thriving concern, offering
the best in Windows software, Morrie now often finds
himself being asked for advice on starting and enlarging
a new business, "Find a licensed psychotherapist. Immediately."
World Domination?
So what's next? A takeover of Microsoft? Forbes 500?
World domination?
Coffee Maker
"Well, a new coffee maker would be nice."
MORRIE
WILSON
Resume of Modesty
- Education
- Experience
- 1989 - present: Chief Bottle Washer
Wilson
WindowWare, Seattle, Washington
- 1977 - 1989: Systems Programmer and local
guru
The Boeing
Company, Seattle, Washington
- 1975 - 1977: Staff Programmer
Dolphin Research Labs, University of Hawaii
- Eccentricities
- Fondness for anchovies
- Understands "Far Side"
- Prefers British humor
- Previously offered job as employee #20 at
Microsoft. Turned it down.
Currently claiming temporary insanity.
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